Thursday, February 17, 2011

Thursday February 17th and I'm Confused

I am confused because my bureau chief was civil toward me today without the snobbery and other exclusive attitudes that have served so well to leave me isolated. He actually gave me a work assignment to do! At about 10:30 he called me to his office by intercom. I thought to myself what now in the land of the easily offended. Then he gave me the assignment which was to filter the list of legislative bill analysis assignments so he could see only the bills that were assigned to us. I am left wondering if he got a bit paranoid about my comments about somebody being at war with me and it was him. Why so nice I wanted to ask him. You are actually collaborating and talking with me and showing a little bit of leadership. But instead I took the paperwork and quickly got it done. He thought it would take me all day and it took 20 minutes. He had gone to lunch when I brought the completed work back to him. It was a clerical assignment so he basically used a cannon, (me) to kill a sparrow. I am hoping that writing this daily blog will take some of my feelings of resentment and victim mentality and get them out of my system. I read an e-mail from my wife today that advises to make a list of all the negative relationships and positive relationships in one's life and sees what can be done about pruning the negative ones from ones life, (as much as possible in the work world).  I feel that this blog is helping me to become a more positive person who can stay away from the poisonous personalities longer when writing. It also helps my confusion by maintaining a healthy skepticism about my kind boss and why he is being kind, while still being able to function in a do nothing workplace where people make much ado over nothing most of the time and waste taxpayer's money. I sometimes question to myself whether my entire division even needs to exist. It bugs me that government is not transparent and there is so much secrecy. There are so many people who are so full of themselves with an overinflated sense of self importance. I have always felt that these self important ego types are the most average amongst us. What are your thoughts on my comments? What do I have to get better at in my own attitudes and thinking process? I gotta tell you the one part of this job that I love is that I have so little to do when  people aren't bugging me over stuff like I described earlier this week. It allows me to collect a check and do other things like this blog. If they don't see the waste of it then I'm not going to say anything because they have not been intellectually honest with me by any stretch. Comments please. Let me hear your work horror stories.

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